farahamade

what my mother has concluded as my turkish coffee cup fate:

-i have no boyfriend
-all of my paths are closed
-it was too complicated to really read
-but the plus side is that there was a cat at the bottom of my cup, so. there.

life's lookin' up guys.

This has been a week long marathon of strange dreams. I shall now throw them up on here.

It's very bright out. I seem to be at the doors of this grand white building. It looks like it would be a mall. between my toes however, sand. confused, I look to my right. I'm on a beach. The mall is still there but it's almost a distant memory, blurred from the heat and the distance. I seem to have shifted away from it without me noticing, or perhaps it was the one doing the shifting since the beach was still just as far. I look ahead now to find an upright piano. There was another a little ways away but I seemed to have taken a liking to this one. The black paint peeling off the edges, revealing the rotting damp wood. keys chipped and the pedal half buried underneath the sand. I play a note. to my surprise It still sounds beautiful. rich sounds that echo over the sand and into the water. In my mind I know I'm playing arurian dance, a song that has always made me drift off into my own head. however, it doesn't sound like it when I play. however, I still enjoy the feel of my fingers tiptoeing across the keys.

I am interrupted by this boy. he seems to lurk in many of my dreams. always the same figure. white. tall. shaggy light brown curls. and a face framed eyeglasses that somehow hide his eyes. it is almost as if the sunlight is always directly hitting them and causing them to glare, even if he changes angels. his hair is tied in a small bun low on his neck. however it's still short, so curls fall loose around his face. I look up to try and distinguish his features but the sun is simply too blinding. I squint and look away. he tells me I'm playing it all wrong. he takes over the piano and his fingers dance. I watch him. I can't tell if it sounds any good, or what he's playing, but he seems to be at ease. I attempt to regain my spot on the piano, but he responds by picking me up and tossing me towards the water. still far from the waves, I only hit the sand. and now he is too far away for me to yell at him. ah well.

A friend joins me now. she's excited to see me and I'm glad that she's there. far away from any building or boy's on keys alike, I admire my landscape. although it is a beach, there are hills everywhere. hills of sand. not the dunes that you sink into, but as if grassy hills were covered in about a foot of sand. you don't sink in and the hills don't shift, but they seem to stretch on infinitely back away from the sea, casting round, symmetric shadows. we are standing on the top of one of these hills, but one which is right on the water. a fall in the right direction would cause me to tumble down into the sea. on the slope facing the waves, is a friend from my university. wearing what seems to be some sort of bright white speedo. the sun has now started to set, but still above the horizon. it casts intense glares and just seems to amplify the brightness of the sand and the sky. he waves and yells to catch our attention and I look down. Instantly blinded, I try my best to squint to distinguish who it is.  It's too bright. to the point where it hurts. his blond hair. his white chest. his white smile. the water. the sand. the clear sky. all seem to be reflecting off the intensity of the burning white sun. in my daze I trip. I try to regain my balance by running along with my momentum and see myself getting closer to him. oblivious of the fact that I was about to hit him, he doesn't move. instead I jump over him and tumble down the remainder of the slope. I crash straight into the water.

Time slows. the water is deeper than I imagined but it is not dark. I can open my eyes wide to see my blurred environment. the water does not sting and it tastes fresh and refreshing. I seem to be able to hold my breath well, or maybe it is simply an effect of this slowed time. the water that runs through my fingers is a brilliant electric blue, light and airy but flows at a lull. I can see the bubbles form as they escape my lips. I look down and see a sea bed of pebbles. I swim down towards them and see that each pebble has an individually carved out poem. I try my best to read them but everything seems to be swaying. I need air. I look above me and see that I'm much deeper into the water than I was originally. I try not to panic, but I won't last the swim to the top. I see that there is a bucket half buried in the sand a few feet from me. I pull it out with ease and blow my last breath of air into the down turned bucket. this seems to do the trick and I shoot up towards the surface. I break away from the water's surface and the sky has turned a soft peach. I can see the two figures far on the beach. and I smile.

I birthed a tumblr. I will try and not get addicted to it because I've heard stories man.

reemreveur.tumblr.com/

huzzah.

although I'll be posting alot of the same art there is on here. gotta start somewhere man.

cheers

I'm running away. or perhaps trying to catch up with something, or someone rather. but I'm on the move and I can't afford to sit around.

The landscape is hazy. as usual. there's a lot of water, but not like an ocean. the water is not too deep. and there are many reddish orange rock mounds piling up above the water. very rustic and choppy. climbing would be easy. but walking along them wouldn't. it's very bright out, a very true baby blue sky and the sun is blinding, feels like late morning. the water is laced with green and foam. and the rocks are very vibrant against this cool backdrop. This I found interesting. my dreams are usually very dark and blurry. this was refreshing, but in a very uncomfortable way.

I'm half swimming half trudging through the clear water. I near two of the rocky piles. one on my right, and one on my left. I take a liking to the one on my left, and I notice a tall boy, maybe my age, standing on the rocky island to my right. I try to look up and distinguish his features, but the sun was too blinding. through my peripherals I make out that he's a dirty blonde, and his stance is very proud.

I'm in the middle of a conversation now with this boy. he seems to be defending why the right rocky island is better than mine, and I seem to defending the one on the left. The one on the right was much flatter, and had a certain pattern etched into the rock. the pattern was that similar to a topographic map. the lines on the rock were thin and mulitcolored. from a distance, the rock seemed to be very three dimensional and grand, yet at a close range, you could tell it was just an illusion made by the lines. the one on the left was quite the opposite. there were no lines, just choppy stacks of red rock. so from a distance the protruding island seemes very flat and two dimensional because of it's monochromatic red tone, but stepping closer you see that it is indeed the opposite.

The boy was a king. and his land was within sight far behind me. being proud royalty. he explained that I was the first to swim this close to the rocks. his people cannot tell that the rock he was perched on was indeed flat, they thought mine was. he would go back and announce that he had landed on the grandest of rocks. one so rocky and dangerous to climb. but he was only fooling his ignorant civilians. I tried to explain that is it is not what people see from afar that is important, but what they discover when they become close to you. I of course, was no longer talking about the rocks.

I am now on the populated island this young king rules. I realize my mission now. why I was so on the move. I am an assassin. or perhaps just a woman with a goal. I was to kill his younger sister, the lady queen. the king is not so much my target, and I hoped he would not interfere. the palace is just as red and dry as the rest of the land. it was only grand because it was the tallest rocky tower there was. from the top you could see the all of the flat red stone homes, and the contrasting green water. I reach the highest room to find the queen, maybe fourteen. I pull out my knife and slit her throat. I stab her. there's blood everywhere. on me, on the walls, on my shoes. I'm not phased. that is only until the king walks in.

I am surprised to see him because I didn't want to see him here. but it's too late, he's a witness and he must die. reluctantly I clear out my emotions and kill him. I feel sick. there's blood everywhere. I have to get rid of the bodies because I hear people coming. I throw their bodies out of a small window like opening. there are no glass coverings or doors here. I watch as the bodies land on a small island just off of the coast. red taints the clear water. I look at the room around me. for some reason I had taken off my shoes and had brought a spare. both are soaked in blood and I do a double take and decide to take both shoes, flip flops and running sneakers.

I'm starting to panic. being on the top floor, I can't just take the stairs. I walk to the balcony and hang my self of the side. I use my momentum to pivot myself and lunge my way on to the lower balcony. this floor is the kitchen, and I can hear the maid cooking and humming in the next room, totally unaware. the smell of sizzling meat reaches my nose and I close my eyes. I snap back to reality. and continue swinging down the balconies. I finally reach the first floor, wide eyed, and I wake up.

bob from that seventies show was my dad apparently. my least favorite character. I brought a guy home. and I walked to my room. we didn't go in. I giddily told him to wait at the door with me. I almost had to hold him back. he was quite confused. I wanted to test my theory. I gave my dad bob exactly one minute before he came "coincidentally" showing up to check on me. five. four. three. two. one. aha there he was. he was also confused as to why we were just hanging around my door. ah people are so easy to read.

I was angry at bob. he said something degrading and inconsiderate. and I wasn't about to take it. so I left. walked out. opened the door and left in my pjs. I walked and walked and walked till I was on the other side of the neighbor hood. There was a track, rounding open path I had never bothered to notice. but the land was so flat. on the right of me I could see all the beige and brown and beige -red topped houses. one of them would be my house. but they all looked the same it was hard to tell which it was anymore. and to the left of me dusty sand colored stretch of road. so I started walking down, up, around, whatever, this road. it felt liberating to just leave everything behind, yet I still felt the comfort of that slight closeness of my house. I was away, but could still turn back if I wanted to. the best situation for someone as indecisive as myself.

I might have turned into a boy. or maybe I was two people. me me was just a side character now, watching this other male me. But I was very much aware of both. this other me was also running away, from something else, not too sure. I was now this other character who's back story isn't really introduced. I found a plane. An old deserted plane at the end of this dusty mono-colored landscape. it was caked in beige. I crawled in. and I flew. I knew how, and I had no idea, because I didn't really know who I was. and I crashed.

its snowing. and I can still feel myself close to my house, but still far. I spot this little wooden cabin bar. I use my shirt to wipe a little circle of snow off the window. it looks really warm inside. I spot my real self. still in pjs. with a bunch of other people. clinking huge glasses and laughing. it looks really warm. in their tummies. I walk in, and they don't know me. I ask them if they want a plane ride. they hop in. although I crashed, it starts to fly. but we started going straight up into the sky. planes don't do that. we went straight up, they seemed worried, but I didn't care. it was a big passenger plane, they can't twirl and spin. but I didn't care. and I did anyways. I noticed that all this swirling and twirling spelled out a sentence in the blinding grey sky. I couldn't read it, but they seemed impressed. we crashed.